My kids and I have been recording World Cup Soccer matches on our DVR, and watching them at our leisure. It’s just not part of our constitution to get up at 4am for the first game of the day. And when there are three soccer games, one right after another, we want to name the time our butts sit down on that couch.
But this week, teams have one last chance to fight their way out of the group stage. It’s advance, or go home! So when the USA played Algeria at 7am California time, we figured we’d get up and watch it live.
More than that – my daughter decided to turn it into an event by inviting her friends. No worries, at all. We have a great dad daughter relationship. And as a Hot Soccer Dad, I feel duty bound to tell you all I learned from the experience. And so I bring you: How to host a world cup party for teens.
1) No need to send eVites or fancy invitations. Just have your teen start texting friends. She’ll talk soccer, create momentum and build a quorum in no time flat. And if any of her friends don’t like soccer, and say they’d rather sleep in than join the fun, you simply tell them: “This is a world-wide spectacle. Are you going to let life pass you by, or embrace it?” Sometimes peer pressure is a wonderful thing.
2) No need to cook Quaker oatmeal or put out bran muffins. Teens will want waffles – with whipped cream and berries and syrup. Even teens with ripped abs will want the fattening stuff. And they will want LOTS of waffles HOT waffles. None of those toaster things. Time to bust out the waffle iron. Fortunately, it’s easy enough to set it up on a card table in the TV room. Want a waffle? Cook it yourself! (A tequila sunrise for you isn't a bad plan.)
3) You can certainly watch the games with the teens, but don’t try telling any jokes – the teens won’t laugh. They’ll just wonder what planet you came from. (You'd think I would have learned this lesson before, when I told a joke to teens that I thought was funny as hell.)
4) Teens will undoubtedly stick around for a second soccer game, even if there’s a multi-hour delay between matches. In our case, they wanted to see Germany play. And that meant I needed to provide them lunch. Which brings me to my next point…
5) Buy twice as much pizza as you think you need. Doesn't matter how many waffles they ate. These are hungry teens!
6) Finally, if there happens to be a world record long tennis match being played at Wimbledon at the same time, expect those teens to watch every serve and volley. Thankfully, this does NOT mean the teens will stick around for dinner. England is eight hours ahead of California, and when the tennis match is called for darkness, you can send those teens packing for home
Until the next morning, when the next set of World Cup soccer matches starts up….
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