Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Victoria's open secret

The following is a 100%-authentic conversation with my 2-year-old daughter M- that my wife (J-) and sister recently endured when they were unfortunate enough to end up in Victoria's Secret with her:

M- (loudly, while pointing at some mannequins, scandalized): Why can you see their bummies?!

J- (vainly encouraging her to take the volume down a few notches): ...Because the store wants to show you what all the different underwear looks like when you wear it.

M- (thinking): Ohhh. ... (now excited AND loud) You can see their vaginas! Why can you see their vaginas??!

J- (dumbfounded, and probably blushing due to the increasing attention and laughter): No, no M-, you can't.

M- (mercifully letting that one go as she looks around more): Hey, they have no heads, but they have boobs!* Why don't they have heads?!?

J- (skipping a chance for some biting social commentary): Well... 'cause you don't need to see their heads for underwear and bras. Their heads don't matter for that.

M-: Ummm, okay, but when I get big and buy a bra, can I still have my head?



* I have no idea where she learned this word, but hopefully it doesn't become her new favorite for random shouting.

You may also enjoy my previous M- conversations, (5 YO son) D- conversations, and (wife) J- conversations.

Posted by LiteralDan

19 comments:

Middle Aged Woman said...

Perhaps slightly older brother learned it at school and shared Victoria's other secret? When they get older, this makes GREAT conversation for when you want to embarrass THEM!

Barefoot Dreamer said...

oh the places you could have gone with those questions - cuz honey no man cares about their head when they are wearing stuff like this..... and yes honey, please keep your head about you when you ARE old enough to wear this stuff.

Oh and at least she said vagina.. my kids still call it a "china"

Mrs. B. Roth said...

My 7 yo covers his own eyes when we pass that place in the mall ... and my 4 yo (boy) yells "I see boobies!" and my 18 month old (girl) says, "puppies?". And fun is had by all.

Brandy said...

"Yes you will still have your head. But the boys won't be looking that high so it won't matter."

Tsquared417 said...

That is adorable!!!

TentCamper said...

C'mon Dan...you know that word (boobs) came from you.

That was a great conversation. I have to say that if it were my kid and I were there...I would have done everything possible to keep it going...at a nice loud volume.

Nice work brotha!

Not a soccer mom said...

We all have to learn some how...
Smart girl

Missty said...

Way funny!

LiteralDan said...

It's true, the head doesn't matter, well... until it does. I think these Victoria's Secret people are on to something, because seeing ribs matters more than anything!

I'm gonna try that "I see boobies!" thing next time I'm at the mall.

And TC, depending on my mood, if I'd been there I might have been setting her up for some better lines once she got rolling. The ladies love that stuff!

Trooper Thorn said...

I once had my 8 year old son with my while shopping for undergarments for my wife. I had selected a tank top when Son asked the sales girl "Does it have a shelf bra?" I didn't even know what the F a shelf bra was!

LiteralDan said...

Someone must have been paying attention when shopping with Mom, I'd guess. I only learned what that is recently myself.

I think it's funny that you just know he was trying to impress you both with his vast store of knowledge.

I think we're all like that with our dads. And random strangers, occasionally.

Daddy Geek Boy said...

Ha! Awesome.

Swirl Girl said...

One day Hubby was perusing the Victoria Secret Catalogue and the little one was peering over his shoulder. She says..."I have two of those" pointing to a Mardi-Gras themed undie layout. Hubby shudders then she says "I have two masks like her"

Vodka Logic said...

When she is older she will realize she doesn't have a head. She'll be telling the boys, my eyes are up here...

handstowar said...

Hilarious. You should see the mannequins on South Beach... their boobs are huge!

LiteralDan said...

You're right, I should see the mannequins on South Beach.

You guys have opened my eyes on this-- who needs a head?

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