Sunday, January 10, 2010

Caption Contest, Sunday Slides, funnies

The
Pastor's Ass



The pastor entered his donkey in a race and
it won.

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey
that he entered it in the
race
again, and it won again.


The local paper read:


PASTOR'S
ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of
publicity that he ordered
the
pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.



The next day, the local paper headline
read:



BISHOP
SCRATCHES
PASTOR'S
ASS.

This was too much for the bishop, so he
ordered the pastor to get
rid
of the donkey.


The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a
nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted
the following headline
the
next day:


NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted.

He informed the nun that she would have to
get rid of the donkey, so
she
sold it to a farmer for $10.




The next day the paper read:

NUN
SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the bishop, so he
ordered the nun to buy back
the
donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run
wild.



The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The bishop was buried the next day.


The moral of the story is . . . being
concerned about public opinion
can bring you much grief and misery .. .
even shorten your life.


So be yourself and enjoy life.


Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and
you'll be a lot happier
and
live longer!

1. I know a lot of folks that could wear this proudly!

2. That sign should say Sage! hahahaha


3. Ok y'all have all the stool you want!



Two women were out for a Saturday stroll.. One had a Doberman and the other a Chihuahua. As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, "Let's go over to that bar for a drink."

The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got the dogs with us."

The one with the Doberman said, "Just watch, and do as I do.."

They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.

The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."

The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

The bouncer said, "A Doberman?"

The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good."

The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."

The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, but thought,"What the heck," so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.

Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."

The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?"

The woman said indignantly, "A Chihuahua? They gave me a f---kng Chihuahua ???????

bwahhahahahahahaa

4. haaaaaaaaa I can too and I'm for it!


5. Me in ummmmmmmm 30 years!




Caption Contest, come on give it your best shot!



Didja think of a caption? Steal whatever pics you wanna. Hit up Sageville for more!

10 comments:

Barefoot Dreamer said...

Not enough caffeine for the caption yet. but love the first story/moral

Southern Sage said...

bfd: hehehehe you need a caffeine drip!

Keith Wilcox said...

I love the moral of that first story! It would have made a great post just by itself. Of course the photos are funny as always. I'm not creative enough to think of anything witty for a caption.

nitebyrd said...

Great "funnies!" I actually own that Happy Bunny pin!

WannabeVirginia W. said...

Good funnies! Love the bunny pin.

TentCamper said...

"Jack?....Who needs a stinkin jack?! Spose if I lean against this pole right behind me...I'm in for some trouble."

dadshouse said...

The bishop and nun's ass story is hilarious!

Not a soccer mom said...

Im with the pink bunny.

"gives Lumber Jack a whole new meaning doesn't it?" (Paul Bunyan would roll over in his grave)

distresseddamsel said...

These are true rib-ticklers! The first one about the ass hit the spot. Worrying too much about others' asses is just a waste of time. Life is too beautiful and short to be wasted on such trivialities.

Jared said...

This cannot have effect as a matter of fact, that is what I suppose.
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