Sunday, January 17, 2010

Sunday Slides, Caption Contest, Funnies

Well thanks to everyone who commented on the Turkey Hunting post!! Here are some funnies and a caption contest!

1. Y'all go ahead and tell me how it was! Don't order mountain dew or 7-up tho, you never know!


2. I passed!



The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors & the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids..

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking....

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. (scroll and keep reading!)

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex & have money & like beer.



The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

3. I could hand these out by the tub full!

4. LOL




Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.

One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit $200 million."

Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at financial planning than men.

Bwahahhahhah Thats funny right there.


Surely TC is gonna hit this! Who else? Gimmie a caption!!

Y'all have a big ole Sunday! I'll be deer hunting allllllllllllll day (If it ain't rainin) go me!

13 comments:

MindyMom said...

Thanks for the laughs today.

I got nothin' on the monkey balls though.

Not a soccer mom said...

Those were funny! I was not surprised to find that I am not gay.

Caption:
If i have to dig all day Im gonna get me some."

Southern Sage said...

Thanks ladies!

WannabeVirginia W. said...

Das funny! I love the bullshit button. Can I steal it I need to put it on a memo!! hehe.

Barefoot Dreamer said...

Funny funny. I usually start my day with these but was a bit too hungover and out of it this a.m.

a good way to end the day for sure.

as far as the monkey and his blue balls: I don't know if I have a caption but --- looks like he is a married monkey for sure. ;)

TentCamper said...

"My balls hurt so much...I can't even climb trees anymore. This foraging on the ground for food is for shit!"

"I'm gonna follow this scent to any old bitch...even just for a reach-around."

dadshouse said...

In a desperate show of blue balls, little monkey begs for a date!

Those first few pics are hilarious

LiteralDan said...

"The Husband Store" is just great!

The blue-balled monkey has me stumped. Poor bastard

Inferno said...

That Exxon sign owns.

I'm off to the Golden Shower restaurant now.

Swirl Girl said...

Word verification is (and I kid you not) Pulled It: Not because he had two, but because he had to.

caption that!

Web Hosting said...

While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

Web Hosting said...

Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, ''Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?'' Complain loudly that you are hungry.

Alan said...

Thanks for the post
healthy food toronto

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