What is the ‘norm’ when it comes to relationships? I don’t think it matters if you are married or just dating…I was just thinking about …’what is the perfect match?’
I know that there are many different kinds of relationships out there and…I’ll stop here and say that I have absolutely NO qualms about mine…but what is the perfect match?
There are relationships with dominate and submissive partners. Are all relationships dominate and submissive in one way or the other? Can two people with passive personalities make it work?
I started thinking about this because of a guy that I have been spending a lot of time with (due to lacrosse). He is WAY dominating….and a bit OCD…and ADHD….and self medicated…but none the less dominate. He has two kids, two ex wives and a live in girlfriend. They all ‘serve him’ in one way or the other. Everything in the house MUST be his way or no way. Though on the other hand he is a very kind hearted and generous guy.
Anyway, I started to think, what if he got together with another person who was just like him? Would they get along? Or will he always need to have a Housekeeper as a girlfriend/wife?
Personally, Mariah and I share in pretty much everything. Grocery shopping, car pools, cooking, homework, sideline parents for sports, cleaning, laundry….everything. That being said, we do have things that
we are individually better at: I cook like a college student and Mariah more like a chef. I can take apart and build most things while Mariah …cannot. Mariah can grocery shop…but I go most times due to my ‘thrifty’ nature. (I sometimes go with more of an intention to see how close to 50% savings I can get…more than buying ‘square’ meals for the family.)
Anyway….Is there such thing as a co-operative relationship?
I think that Mariah and I complement one another pretty damn well. But is that my mind tricking me? Is one of us more dominate? Or is that not needed in a relationship?
Fine….I do see myself as kind of a stabilizer/smoother/balancer…not just in my relationship, but in many of my daily dealings. Is that me trying to be dominating in some weird way?
Does one party need to feel that they are dominant…in their mind?
Can two ‘jellyfish’ have a happy relationship?
See….this is what happens to my head when I don’t post stuff on a regular basis.
13 comments:
I have a theory on this whole marriage thing.
One of the people is a pain in the ass and the other finds that quality endearing.
Seriously, look around at everyone you know in a HAPPY relationship and you'll quickly be able to label them.
It's the double pain in the asses who rip each other up and the double passive ones who never get anything done and wait around endlessly for someone to take over.
It seems the best relationships are those where people compliment each others strengths and weaknesses. As for your friend, I dont think he could handle someone who is equally dominant, sounds more like he needs someone to boss around.
Balance and respect, that is the key!
Who knows? I think that Danielle is right though, your friend would not be able to have someone as dominant as he is. They would argue ALL day
Yep, I agree. I'm not sure two hardheads would do anything but piss each other off.
Happy to see you and Mariah continue to complement each other!
I don't think so. I'm pretty sure there is no perfect match nor am I confident in the insititution of marriage. Then again, it's been a shitty day. I'll ask myself this question, tomorrow. ;)
Look at any failed relationship and I will show you one where disrespect crept (marriage or dating - my marriage included). If the hot head and the dish rage can still respect each other given their unique and substantially different ways then it stands a chance of lasting. But the moment that resentment (which leads to disrespect) shows its ugly head...put a fork in it because its done.
Too many of us try to get respect like we order our food, by demanding it, failing to realize that it just doesn't work that way.
Look at any failed relationship and I will show you one where disrespect crept (marriage or dating - my marriage included). If the hot head and the dish rage can still respect each other given their unique and substantially different ways then it stands a chance of lasting. But the moment that resentment (which leads to disrespect) shows its ugly head...put a fork in it because its done.
Too many of us try to get respect like we order our food, by demanding it, failing to realize that it just doesn't work that way.
Relationships are work. Plain and simple, when one or both parties stops working, the relationship stops working. Sometimes one party works more than the other, but at least they are both working, and the lazy one sees the industrious one, and gets his/her act in gear.
Yin/Yang opposites, strong weak, it still takes two...unless you're really kinky, then it takes three!
UP
I agree to the fact that there is no perfect match, there is no one who could match upto our expectations but marriage is all about fighting the odds and living happily....
and this is only possible when both partners understand the fact that they are together now n through adjustment and undersatnding they will have to live...
once this is clear, u would never find self in any dilemma...
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