Monday, August 23, 2010

Marriage Traditions

I got married earlier this year. It’s been great. My wife took my name which was a great honour, but now it’s confusing to have two people named Trooper at home.
But it’s a tradition.

Lot’s of funny traditions about marriage. Like you have to divorce your first wife before you get married again. They won’t let you do it. It’s actually a question on the marriage license. The same iron-clad security they use at customs when they ask if you have any weapons in your luggage.

“I wasn’t ready for the trick question!”

And the government enlists the public in their dragnet for bigamists too. During the wedding ceremony itself, the minister asks the congregation to squeal

Pity the poor guy trying to slide one past the goalie and marry wife #2. He’s kept wife #1 in the dark, braved the inquisition at the marriage commissioner’s office, but he knows that the question is coming. And there are people in attendance that know!

Do we really need a law to prevent multiple marriages? I would think having to be accountable to two spouses would be enough. The laws against public nudity are not what is keeping me from taking my clothes off; I don't want to be running around the streets naked.


matt said...

One wife is more than enough - you have to be some sort of sick Bast**d to want two . . . why not just shove bamboo shoots under your fingernails? ;-)

Mom said...

Dude, what's even scarier is...two HUSBANDS! All those friggin' socks lying around. The toilet seat would NEVER be down. Dishes in the sink 24/7...

That's some scary shit! ;-)


The Texas Trio said...

If you have two wives and divorce them both do they each still get half?

Trooper Thorn said...

matt: Maybe if a guy was looking for a way to have his self-esteem lowered...

Mom: You'd have to just build an outhouse.

Trio: The Buddha used to puzzle over the same question

Anonymous said...

The thought of 2 wives makes me want to take a shot of alimony payment is enough. Two?!?!? Where's the closest bridge?

Congrats on your nuptials!

LiteralDan said...

I, on the other hand, am only restrained in my clothes by those pesky laws. My boys wanna breathe free!!

And congratulations

web designing jacksonville said...

i learned a lot and i think this is beautiful the way they inclued muslim culture and the Chinese culture

UP said...

First of all, web designing jacksonville's comment sounds like SPAM!

2ndly, 2 wives, NFW!

I can barely deal w/ one!

And I'm w/LiteralDan, running naked through the woods singing "Born Free" makes me feel good!


Joanna Cake said...

LOL, I really do feel as if Im married to Ruf sometimes... and I have to remind myself about the man who is actually still my husband on paper.

Trooper Thorn said...

Project F: Arsenic also works well.

Literal Dan: And that's why you live in a compound.

WD Jacksonville: WTF is your problem?

UP: Don't encourage Dan.

J Cake: He's a lucky man.

Related Posts with Thumbnails