Saturday, October 31, 2009

Ask Hot Dads...Or Not

OK Ladies…I’m gonna have to lay it out on the line for you.

You all say how much you love the Ask Hot Dads posts and many of you say that that is one of things that attracted you to the site in the first place. YET……I am nor receiving any questions from you.

Sure I could make up some questions…or better yet, make up some really juicy ones and just say that they are from YOU. (I could easily post a question like: ZenMom asked: “How (exactly) are babies made?” or Janie Woods asked: “How come sex toys don’t come with directions?”

But I won’t do that. If you want the Ask Hot Dads to continue…SEND ME YOUR FREAKIN QUESTIONS!!!!!

Additionally, if you Guys have questions for the Hot Mamas…We can do that as well. (Not that we need answers to anything…you know, just to make the Mamas feel important.)

If you want your questions to be anonymous…say so or leave them in the comments anonymously. I can respect less knowledgeable folks being a bit embarrassed.

Friday, October 30, 2009

The Zombie Plan: A Hot Dad's Guide

Do you have a plan for when the zombies attack?

Please, people...don’t tell me that Halloween is the only time of the year that you think about zombies and the undead. C’mon now...surely you must realize that zombies that bring havoc to the land of the living at any time of the year. What will you do when it happens? Where will you go if you’re being chased by flesh-eating beings? How will you survive the impending apocalypse?

Well...I’ve got a plan. It’s not perfect, it’s not absolute, but it’s a plan. In fact, my girlfriend was a bit taken aback at knowing that I actually had a plan in place. Well...she’s gonna be in a world of hurt if she doesn’t at least have an escape route in the back of her mind.

So because you never know if somebody who will eventually be a zombie on my trail will read this (and use it to catch me later....duh!!), I’m not going to provide my detailed plan here. No, instead I’m going to help all of you by providing some very important tips on how to stay alive during a zombie apocalypse:
  • Find water. I don’t know about you, but I have yet to see a movie where zombies could do ANYTHING involving water. So find a boat...a life raft, even...and seriously consider going to the nearest island to wait out the storm (so to speak). Of course, if this island has only trees and bugs then you might be in a bit of a jam when it comes to staying alive, so you might need more than just a boat in order to stay alive. Of course, if you don’t live anywhere close to water then you’re probably screwed if this plan is followed.
  • Find weapons. Lots of ‘em. Guns...explosives...machetes...anything that can blow something up or cut something off. You’ll need it. Just remember there are only two places you can focus your attack on: the head and the knees. Everybody knows that zombies eat brains. The flip side of that is the fact that zombies will actually “die” if you destroy their brain. So always try to aim for the head each and every time. Of course, if the head isn’t an option then go for the knees. Why? You can out-run a zombie with only one leg. Trust me.
  • Find a mall. Not only are there a LOT of resources there that are available for you in order to survive (food...water...those shoes you saw on Sex & the City), but there are normally a LOT of places to hide from the undead hordes that might be coming after you. Obviously, there may be some drawbacks like the distinct possibility that more and more zombies might surround the mall because it’s where they used to congregate when they were alive...but for the most part you’re probably in a pretty safe spot. BONUS: Pick a mall with a Wal-Mart or some outdoor specialty store for easier access to zombie-destroying weapons.
  • Find old people. This may sound crass and horrific, but let’s face it: you don’t want to die, AMIRITE?? Do you really think a zombie cares if they’re chewing on flesh from somebody who’s 20 or 80? Nah. If you’re being chased by some flesh-eaters, your best bet is planning an escape route that runs past a senior citizen’s home. You may frown now, but you’ll thank me later.
  • Find a remote area. Listen...most of the zombie hordes will spend weeks (possibly months) eating on the yummy flesh within the urban areas and cities. So if you live on a farm or in a suburban area, you’re probably in better shape than you think. Is it free of zombies? Well of course not...but it’s still better than being in a city where the undead will breed faster than Octomom in a sperm-donor clinic.
  • Find a way to stay alive for 5 years. The suggestion is that bacteria will have eaten away at the zombies to the point that they cannot actually “survive” after 4-6 years. So if there has been a “zombie war” and you have found a way to self-sustain, then you’ve got a great chance at long-term survival.

Hey...I’m no expert. I’m sure there are ‘official’ websites and books out there that can tell you, in detail, what you need to know in order to completely survive the zombie apocalypse.

But don’t let the Halloween talk make you think this is the only time of the year that you need to think of a plan. Any good dad has a good zombie plan.

It’s just a given, isn’t it?

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Intercourse With A Vampire

Being a vampire, or being in love with a vampire, has never been more in vogue now than since the homo-erotic days of Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. However, once the romance is gone, the day to day vampire-mortal lifestyle is just as tricky as normal relationships.

Intercourse With A Vampire, Episode 1

The Letter

Reaching back into the Geek Boy vault for this post written in June of 2008. But I think its as relevant now as it was back then...

Have you ever been in the situation, where you were talking to somebody really attractive—like the best looking person you’ve ever had the pleasure of being in public with—and exactly 2 minutes and 43 seconds into the conversation you realize that they are unbearably dull?

Well this happened to me, only I didn’t know it because I was 15 years old.

Recently my parents sold the house in which I grew up, meaning that a few weeks ago two boxes containing all of my old stuff arrived at my front door. Going through the boxes, I have never been so happy that not only was I a pack rat, but I was an incredibly organized pack rat. I know it will sound really nerdy of me to admit this, but I actually kept all of my notes, journals, term papers, creative writing endeavors in chronological order. I’ve since been spending evenings here and there re-living my teenage years. The mountain of paper that grew out of these boxes provides a very vivid and accurate portrait of yours truly right in the midst of his most gawkiest, rawest and hardest teenaged years.

But those times weren’t all bad because in the summer of 1988, I met a girl. She was one of the most memorable “J”s in a long line of girls I’ve dated whose names began with that initial. This particular J was, to me at the time, the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. And she liked me. I mean really liked me. She liked me in the only way a 15 year-old girl likes anything—totally obsessed for a very, very short period of time. And I liked her back. I mean I really really liked her back. This was true pimply puppy love. We spent two glorious whirlwind romantic weeks together before I shipped off…on a teen tour across the country.

Before I left, there was a teary goodbye between us that could have been lifted from a sweeping Forties-era romantic epic. She promised to write. And she made good on her promise with a nearly 50 page handwritten correspondence that came to be known on my tour bus as, “the letter.” The Letter’s magnitude was unprecedented in the brief romantic experiences of the 50 or so teens on that bus. It's very existence and the fact that it was sent to me became the stuff of legend. It helped make the summer of 1988 one of the most memorable I’ve ever had.

Exactly 20 summers have passed since then. And in unpacking the boxes I found, nestled between my journal and one of my high school yearbooks, the letter.

Before I get into the letter, here are two things you need to know about this girl:

1) She dumped me the moment I returned from my trip. Literally as I’m driving back home from the airport.

2) Years after that summer, I learned she was severely anorexic when she would show up at the gym with less meat on her than a chicken. She was topic of a lot of gossip by my mother’s friends.

The contents of this letter are truly astounding. It is written in the classic bubbly girl scrawl. The one where all of the dots over the “i”s and the periods are little puffy circles. In reading this letter, I immediately realized that this girl was the most vapid, shallow and boring girl ever. A good majority of the letter was spent telling me about the minute details of her day. You see, J led a very simple life. Her summery days were spent exercising to Kathy Smith’s aerobic workout videos and weighing herself. In the afternoon, she would sunbathe on her deck and then cool off in front of the TV watching reruns of “The Brady Bunch.” That doesn’t leave a lot to write about. Often in the letter she would just list what songs were playing on the radio. A typical passage of the Letter went like this:

“The song ‘Electric Blue’ is on Q107. Before they were playing ‘Faithfully’ by Journey. WAVA is playing ‘Hungry Eyes’ by I don’t know who [Eric Carmen, by the way]. But I’m listening to Q107. They’re in the middle of a 10 in a row overflow. Pretty nifty."

I’m not kidding. This went on for pages and pages. In another section she refers to one radio station as “the black people station.” Holy shit. She’s a racist too!

Of course, I had absolutely no idea at the time who this girl really was. All actual memories of real conversations with her have eroded over time. But this letter serves as a perfectly preserved snapshot of this girl in the neon-colored time that was 1988, and how a young geeky boy ignorantly and blissfully fell for a beautiful blonde.

I’m so thankful that the 15 year-old me knew that the 35 year-old me would totally love this stuff.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Still Stuck for a Costume?

As part of my ongoing commitment to Public Service, I posted some examples of last minute costumes you could do if you only had some paint and a brush. However, I realize that not everyone reads Dogs & Jeans. Fortunately I had some left over samples, so I'll post them all here.

You're Welcome.

True Love

Well everyone….since you liked my last poem, I thought I’d shoot another masterpiece out there for you.


ManicMariah to you, plain Mariah to me
Whatever she’s called, she is Hot indeed

Her sexy body and loony mind
Boy we’re lucky she one of a kind

She love animals, dogs, monkeys and owls
But really hates when I talk of my bowels

Her kids are smart, say thank you and please
She sits and blogs, with her perky double D’s

A woman with the kindest heart
She even giggles when I burp and fart

She’s been called a MILF and a hottie too
Treating her right is all I can do

I will not discus details of my loins
But we see stars while counting coins

Getting lost in the woods is a regular thing
But being with her, I feel like a king

I’m going to keep her, forever if I can
With her on my arm, “I am THE MAN!”

Forever and ever, I envision it every day
Holy crap!…I’m glad I’m not gay!

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

D.W.I. - Driving Wealthy Idiots

I don’t know if it only happens where I live…or if this epidemic occurs allover the country…or the world, but I have to lay it out for you…you know, my form of therapy.

The question that we will be discussing today is: Why the hell do people who cantfreakindrive buy cars that they are scared to drive?
I run into this all the time and it is causing me great mental anguish and lending itself to my pre-Happy Hour drinking.

Whether I am at the coffee shop, grocery store, surface street or highway, I find these middle aged to elderly people driving around in $150,000 cars and they take 20 minutes to get in or out of any given parking space…or they wait at an intersection til they can’t see anyone coming for 18 freakin blocks…or they drive 30 miles an hour in the fast lane (though in some parts of LA…that is pretty good.)

It is either that, or, they drive like they own the world. Granted, I don’t know who these people are and they may well be the mayor of our city, or the King of Santa Monica or something. But this drives me absolutely insane.

My thoughts are:
1. If you are a shitty driver and can’t park worth a damn…get a Cooper Mini.
2. If you don’t pay attention while you drive…buy a junker and put a sign on it saying that you’re a shitty driver.
3. If you own a section of town or a specific road, indicate it with a large lettered sign, so that the rest of us can get the hell out of your way.

And for those of you that just have these cars to show the rest of us how much money you have…trade it in and wear a jewel encrusted crown, or a jacket made out of stitched together 100 dollar bills.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Let The Haunting Begin

As Mariah and I were walking on the sidewalk in front of our house, we paused to look up at the big spider web that we have been passing for the last week. Every day, the web was getting a little bigger, but we never saw the spider. I am...not so into spiders, but in this house…you do NOT kill (or even “relocate”) spiders. (more on that…see ManicaMariah.)

Tonight, there it was….a monster! Simultaneously, we both jumped back, as if we were in “Attack of the Killer Spiders” and the thing was going to jump onto our faces and suck our brains out through our noses. We stepped back and I knew I’d have to photograph this one. I ran inside to get the camera…and of course our 9 year old. Christie is one of those….nutty, animal-freak kids. We remove “unwanted” critters from her room on a daily basis. Snails, lady bugs, worms, rollie pollies…anything she can catch. Christie is that girl who would need therapy if she (even by accident) stepped on an ant.

I asked her if she wanted to go see the big spider while I took pictures. She was out the front door before I had a chance to turn around. We walked up to where the spider was, I pointed, she looked up and (with her mouth gaping open said, …”Oh My.” I started taking pictures (knowing I had to get the perfect shot for you all. Once I had about 5 shoots, I showed them to Christie who responded to me with…”Wow! He’s HUGE!”...(then I got to a good close up) she looked at the picture and then turned to me and said, “That’s sep-spatula…I mean scepatula…um….slaptulaR. Wait, what is that word?” I responded “spec tac u lar”
“Yeah! That’s it!”

Then I said…...”Hey, let’s go check out the one on the other side of the house.” We trotted down the driveway to the side of the house, Christie chanting under her breath, “spectacular, sptcatipillar, ...UH… do you think this one is gonna be as big?”

Chuckling, I said, “Hold on to your britches Little One….we’re about to find out.”
As we turned the corner, we looked up to the web (that we had really only seen from far away …until now. We (both of us with jaws dragging the floor) stared and as I said, “Holy Mackerel” she barked (like an army sergeant), “That thing is a...MONSTER!”

I clicked away and now, even though I have some cool photos, I don’t even know what kind of spiders these are. I kinda hope that one of these super-sized, creepy-assed spiders bites me. I'd be the ultimate Spider-Man!!!!!!

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Sunday Slides, Funny, Caption Contest

First for a cool easy give away you should hit up the stunningly sexy Sandi!!!


1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

2.... We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California , and mine is in Texas .

3. I take my wife everywhere....
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!"
So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was.
She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?"
The driver said, "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name wasAlways.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"

1. Some of y'all need this button!

2. Chandelier.

3. I think she could convince me to be a Buckeye!

4. Amen to that!

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'

'It depends,' I replied.

'What does it say on your shirt?'

He yelled back, ' USC ! '

And they say blondes are dumb....

Caption Contest, surely y'all can come up wih some good stuff for this one!

Give it a shot, go hit the damn link, steal any pics you want send bobie pics for each one you steal. Have a groooooooooovy weekend!

Friday, October 23, 2009

I’ve Got a Plan

I love my dad, I really do. When I was growing up, he was a workaholic. Hell...he’s STILL a workaholic and he’s in his early 60’s so I guess some things don’t change. He’s never been the most open with his feelings, which is probably why I’m a bit closer to my mom.

My dad enjoyed an emotional distance. I don’t blame him...I think that’s just how a lot of us were raised back in the 70’s (or maybe I’m just providing an excuse for him). My dad never really threw the ball around much with me. Hell...he doesn’t like sports so I didn’t grow up watching anything with him (unless I wanted to waste time watching curling). My dad can build pretty much anything he wants, yet he never taught me how to hammer a nail. My dad loves to go camping, yet other than my grandfather taking me as a young boy, I never learned how to put a worm on a hook or make s’mores by a campfire.

My son recently turned three. This boy is the light of my life. At this point, where I’ve been separated for 2 ½ years and my girlfriend lives 3 hours away, I’ve already made conscious efforts to not only spend time with him as he grows up but to spend quality time with him.

Now maybe my version of quality doesn’t necessarily jive with everybody else’s...but I don’t care. I want to spend Sundays with him watching football from 12pm to 12am (okay...maybe he’ll be in bed before that but I’ll totally let him stay up late as he gets older). I want to throw a baseball with him (or football) and help him learn how to catch. I want to do a “fist pump” with him so we have our own secret handshake.

Bottom line? I want to be the dad that my son WANTS to come and visit. I want him to grow up saying, “Man...I remember how much fun it was to watch football with pops; eating pizza and chicken wings and getting excited about every little play.” I want him to reminisce about spending a Saturday night with me watching Hockey Night in Canada (and I’m not even a big fan of hockey).

This isn’t about one-off’s, either. My dad took me to see the local hockey team maybe once or twice in my entire lifetime. He took me to see wrestling once when I turned 16. We did sporadic things together, and that’s fine (again...I love the guy and really don’t want to hold any resentment or sound like I do, either). But in my eyes, it’s extremely important to set-up trends and regular occurrences.

My boss at work has season tickets to the local hockey team. He’s got three kids. He can’t afford five season tickets (including his wife) so he rotates everybody on who gets to go, with the occasional family night with all five going together. His children know that no matter what else happens in their childhood, their father’s great joy was to watch hockey with them on a regular basis (or coach them in basketball, or watch them play soccer...).

It’s not even about sports, either. I can’t wait to help educate my son on music. ALL music. See, I’m a former DJ...both on college radio and in the clubs while in my 20’s. My parents raised me on country music before I gravitated to rock as a young child (thank goodness). I can still, to this day, fully appreciate all forms of music. A good song is a good song, whether it’s country or rock or dance or cheesy pop. I think too many kids close their ears to the world of music that’s out there around them. I’m really hoping that my son can at least appreciate other forms of music, regardless of what his favourite may or may not be.

This is my plan, anyway. It’s not’s not really specific. It could totally backfire if my son would rather watch Broadway musicals than Monday Night Football. That’s alright, though...I’ll love him completely anyway and have to start seeing if Wal-Mart has a “Broadway musical dvd” section. As long as I make it a regular event that he’ll always remember, that’s all that really matters to me.

I think my dad might have taken our relationship for granted. I have no plans on doing the same thing with my son. I’ve got a plan.


Canadian Bald Guy is just a thirty-something single dad who is trying to find his place in the world…no more, no less. You can check out his regular ramblings at I Used To Have Hair.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Tit for Tat Coparenting

Single Dad Dating and Parenting at Dad's House Blog
Married folks know as well as divorced how hard it can sometimes be to divide up the parenting workload equally. (Unless, of course, you're NY Times columnist David Brooks spouting stone-age views on men and divorce.)

Tit for tat is what it’s all about!

If only I could find some tat to trade for… Oh, never mind.

Imagine you’re a parent – you spend hours online researching colleges that your teen might attend. You’d have your teen do it, but really – they might just look to see who has the best toga parties. You’re checking out degree programs, perusing the course curriculum. Nerdy, but important stuff.

And your ex or spouse? Cleaning up the ski cabin, prepping it for winter snow trips.

Now then, if you’re married, this might be a pretty nice trade-off. I mean, you both benefit from both tasks. Your teen gets into a good school with a good program? Awesome! You all enjoy some killer snowboarding and skiing in the family winter cottage? Killer! (Or whatever the kids say these days.)

We’re talking some seriously perky tit for tat.

But then imagine you’re divorced. While you slave your ass off online, looking at boring-ass college course descriptions, your ex is prepping a snow cabin you will never see.

This tit for tat seems a bit droopy to me.

I know there's give and take in every relationship, even divorced ones. I also know that work division ebbs and flows. But some coparenting exchanges just seem blatantly unequel.

How do married spouses keep the tit for tat equilibrium firm and round and not fake?

And how can that tit for tat love be spread to divorced “couples”, when one ex seems to be taking advantage of the other, like a major boob?

I guess I prefer my tits tatted.

Dad's House offers stories and tips about dating and parenting as a single dad. Plus - a killer margarita recipe, 'The Boys are Back' movie review, Jon and Kate divorce, teen dating, spooning naked. It's all good. And pretty darn perky.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Swine Flu, Drugs and Money

OK…I don’t want to minimize or make light a serious situation. I am just so over all of this swine flu crap! Not the people who have died or become sick from it…the researchers and pharmaceutical companies creating the ‘vaccines’.

I know that I am not a medical research genius, nor am I versed in anything medical (barring band-aids, asprin, gauze, chicken noodle soup and sleep) but…this flu thing is not new. This has been going on for decades.

What the F are these pharmaceutical companies doing? It is my belief that they have collected enough information to see some sort of freaking pattern…to anticipate something. These are the companies that are awarded billions of dollars every freakin year to get us well when we get sick. The same companies that create medications that have ‘typical’ side-effects that make people need yet another of their medications. (If that is not the first sign of a scam….I don’t know what is.)

(See the post on my personal tango with medications)

Now, if we can split atoms, fly in space, produce huge quantities of mind altering drugs (that work just fine) and are able to rid the earth of things like Black Plague…

When I recently looked at the following timeline, it kind of hit me that someone ain’t doing their job. H1N1 has been circulating for 91 years.

“Spanish flu” H1N1
The most devastating flu pandemic in recent history, killing more than 500,000 people in the United States, and 20 million to 50 million people worldwide.

"Asian flu" H2N2
First identified in China, this virus caused roughly 70,000 deaths in the United States during the 1957-58 season. Because this strain has not circulated in humans since 1968, no one under 30 years old has immunity to this strain.

"Hong Kong flu" H3N2
First detected in Hong Kong, this virus caused roughly 34,000 deaths in the United States during the 1968-69 season. H3N2 viruses still circulate today.

Four soldiers in a US army base in New Jersey are infected with swine influenza, resulting in one death.

Appearance of a new influenza strain in humans
“Russian flu” H1N1
Isolated in northern China, this virus was similar to the virus that spread before 1957. For this reason, individuals born before 1957 were generally protected; however children and young adults born after that year were not because they had no prior immunity.

Appearance of a new influenza strain in humans
The first time an influenza virus was found to be transmitted directly from birds to people, with infections linked to exposure to poultry markets. Eighteen people in Hong Kong were hospitalized, six of whom died.

Appearance of a new influenza strain in humans
Appeared for the first time in humans. It caused illness in two children in Hong Kong, with poultry being the probable source.

Appearance of a new influenza strain in humans
Evidence of infection is found in one person in Virginia following a poultry outbreak.

Appearance of a new influenza strain in humans
Caused two Hong Kong family members to be hospitalized after a visit to China, killing one of them, a 33-year-old man. (A third family member died while in China of an undiagnosed respiratory illness.)
In the first reported cases of this strain in humans, 89 people in the Netherlands, most of whom were poultry workers, became ill with eye infections or flu-like symptoms. A veterinarian who visited one of the affected poultry farms died.
Caused a person to be hospitalized in New York.
Caused illness in one child in Hong Kong.

Appearance of a new influenza strain in humans
Caused illness in 47 people in Thailand and Vietnam, 34 of whom died. Researchers are especially concerned because this flu strain, which is quite deadly, is becoming endemic in Asia.
Is reported for the first time in humans. The strain caused illness in two poultry workers in Canada.
Is reported for the first time in humans. It caused illness in two infants in Egypt. One child’s father is a poultry merchant.

The first case of human infection with H5N1 arises in Cambodia in February. By May, WHO reports 4 Cambodian cases, all fatal. Indonesia reports its first case, which is fatal, in July. Over the next three months, 7 cases of laboratory-confirmed H5N1 infection in Indonesia, and 4 deaths, occur.
On December 30, WHO reports a cumulative total of 142 laboratory-confirmed cases of H5N1 infection worldwide, all in Asia, with 74 deaths. Asian countries in which human infection with H5N1 has been detected: Thailand, Vietnam, Cambodia, Indonesia and China.

In early January, two human cases of H5N1 infection, both fatal, are reported in rural areas of Eastern Turkey, while cases in China continues to spread. As of January 25, China reports a total of 10 cases, with 7 deaths. On January 30, Iraq reports its first case of human H5N1 infection, which was fatal, to the WHO.
In March, the WHO confirmed seven cases of human H5N1 infection, and five deaths, in Azerbaijan. In April, WHO confirmed four cases of human H5N1 infection, and two fatalities, in Egypt.

In May, the WHO confirmed a case of human H5N1 infection in the African nation of Djibouti. This was the first confirmed case in sub-Saharan Africa. Throughout 2006, 115 human cases of H5N1 infection occur, with 79 deaths.

In early January, two human cases of H5N1 are confirmed in Indonesia. By the end of 2007, 88 confirmed cases occur in Indonesia, Cambodia, China, Lao People’s Democratic Republic, Myanmar, Nigeria, Pakistan and Vietnam, with 59 deaths.

In May, four cases of H7N7 avian influenza were confirmed in the United Kingdom among individuals exposed to infected poultry.

On May 28, Bangladesh reports its first case of human H5N1 infection to the WHO. By the end of the year, 40 cases are confirmed in Bangladesh, Cambodia, China, Egypt, Indonesia and Vietnam.

On January 7, Indonesia confirmed a new case of human infection with H5N1 influenza. Since that time, new cases have been identified in Egypt, China, Indonesia and Vietnam.
Appearance of a new influenza strain in humans
In April, human infection with a new strain of H1N1 influenza is confirmed in Mexico. Within weeks, human infections spread to the United States and cases begin occurring in other regions around the world.

(*timeline obtained from the National Institute of Health)

Anyway…I say that we should all, as a country, boycott all drugs medicines and live our lives as the cavemen and all of those other ancient fuckers did back in the day.

A few months of that and I bet those same companies who could not figure out how to stop the flu would quickly find the cure.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Lava Spews - All Over The Place

As the temperatures around the country are cooling off and Fall is in full effect, I thought it a good time to spread some more hotness throughout the nation.

I knew that I would not have much time to scout for more hotties, as Halloween, Turkey Day and Christmas are all just right around the corner, so I have spent the past week trolling.

You’ll all be happy to know that my search was so successful that this blog is slowly turning into quite the lava pit.

So, without further ado….I’d like to present you all with our newest Hot Mamas!!!!!!!

UberDorkGirlie of Life in Monkeyland
Faerie Mom of TheFaerieCastle
VodkaMom at VodkaMom

I highly recommend that you jump over there and show them some love…as they will be visiting all of you to do the same!

Lastly folks, We’ve had a bit of a shift in contributors here at Hot Dads.
A few of the boys were not able to fit extracurricular blogging into their busy lives and had to step back (for now) and we have also added some new testosterone to the mix.

Please bow and welcome:
Surfer Jay from I have to wipe their what?
Mocha Dad

Monday, October 19, 2009

Ask Hot Dads - Wisdom at its finest

ManicMariah asked: "Do you Hot Dads think that online flirting with strangers (Twitter, comments, etc) boosts you ego in a way that is positive or negative way in your real life relationship?

TentCamper says: I don’t know. I suppose it could go either way. I guess that some meaningless flirting can be ok. (in attempts to get more followers and such…as long as the flirting is not genuine.) But then again. One has to take into consideration their spouse. Do they read what you write? Are they secure with how you feel about them? Are they the jealous type? Etc. Keep it to a minimum and keep it in check.

DadsHouse says: It can definitely be an ego boost. Is it healthy? Um.... NO! Come on, guys, Man up, and feel good about yourselves for the right reasons. Not because some hottie flirted on your blog. Find a young Starbucks barista to make eyes with! (Haha.)

CoachDad says: I don't really think it has a negative or positive effect with my relationship. I only correspond with two people that I have met through blogging or twittering and don't really consider it flirting. I enjoy emailing them or IMing them and we usually just talk about our day, kids, or relationships. I value the conversations I have with them, but would also not hide them from my girlfriend.

DaddyGeekBoy says: Any flirting can be an ego boost. But what you do with that boost is what makes it positive or negative. How does the flirting affect your real life relationships? While I have strong online friendships with people, I tend not to flirt with them (except for Tent Camper, cause he’s hawt!). So this is a tough one for me to answer.

Hubman says: While Veronica and I both flirt quite a bit [kinda comes with the lifestyle], I don't know that it's an ego boost. I suppose that having my flirtatious comments returned in a positive way could be good for my self esteem. I know that participating in HNT had a very positive effect for Veronica. So I guess that yes, online flirting has been something positive for Veronica and I!

Southern Sage says: Well I have no personal experience with this because I would never flirt. If I were to guess though I would think it was a positive thing.

What are your thoughts on having a stay at home parent as opposed to sending your kids to day care? (and what is done in your house?)

TentCamper says: I think that having a stay at home parent is by far the best for the kids. Personally, I would not want someone else raising and teaching my kids about life. I want that job to be done by a parent. I do though, think that it is very important to ensure the kids get a great deal of socialization and not just with your friend’s kids…They need to learn how to cope and deal with other kids with differing attitudes and behaviors.

DadsHouse says Day care rocks! It's great for the kids. Both of mine went through day care, and they are both socially savvy. That said, I work from home now, and I LOVE being here when my kids (teens now) get home after school. They talk to me like crazy in that short window between getting home and eating a snack (fourth meal) and starting their homework. After that, they have already processed their day and aren't as chatty. The parent child relationship is much importante! Check out the book, Parenting is a contact sport.

CoachDad says: As a single dad, I don't have an option. Ideally, a stay-at-home parent would be better for me and my children. However, as a head high school football coach, my girls love coming to my practices right after they are out of school and hanging out with me for a few hours on the football field.

DaddyGeekBoy says: I’m for whatever works best for that particular family. I have great respect for the stay at home parent and as a member of the work force, I also understand how challenging a full time job can be. There is no right or wrong. Except if it involves me being a stay at home parent…cause I would go insane!

Hubman says: Oh boy....

Inspired by my fellow Hot Dad Sage, my lovely wife wrote 2 posts on this topic a few months ago. Rather than try to restate what she said, and since she and I agree 100% on the matter, why don't you just click here and here to read what she had to say?

Southern Sage says: Are you trying to get me in trouble again? My bride stays home. I would have it no other way. There is no question a parent can raise their own kid better than others can, therefore the kid(s) will be better off if a parent does the bulk of the raising and supervising. I always do what is in the best interest of my kids.

Do you watch porn? And if so, primarily alone or with your partner?

TentCamper says: I’m ok with porn. I kind of like to watch with Mariah here and there…but it has to be as a form of foreplay. I will also state that I’d sign a petition to remove all sound tracks from porn. The music sucks, the lines are stupid and the plots are ridiculous. I don’t watch for anything but the view. OH ... and will you producers try to keep the actress pool at least appealing? Not too into watching middle aged trailer park sluts trying to act all sexy…it does not work.

DadsHouse says: I don't watch it. I'd rather get it on in real life with a real woman.

CoachDad says: I don't watch porn, but fantasize quite often about it. Don't seem to find the time to throw it on at home. When I find time at home for myself when the girls are finally asleep, I'd rather just do it with my partner.

DaddyGeekBoy says:Yes, I watch porn. I like porn. Thankfully we live in such a glorious technologically advanced age where it’s plentiful and easy to obtain. And I watch it alone.

Hubman says: Not really, believe it or not. I do browse an occasional website or two, but I rarely watch porn videos.

Southern Sage says: Again I have no personal experience here but if I did I would say alone.

Anonymous asked: Overall what do you think the (physically) most attractive race is for a woman?

TentCamper says: Wow…hard question. I’ll have to say that women raised in Santa Monica, CA are the Hottest. (you’re welcome baby!) But as a close second, I’d have to say South American and/or Northern Europe (i.e. Denmark, Sweden…Scandinavian)

DadsHouse says: Latina. Though I'm sometimes attracted to Indian, Persian, Mediterranean... dark hair, olive skin, slim waist, wide hips, nice butt...

CoachDad says: I am non-discriminatory when it comes to women... Any beautiful women physically or personality-wise will do.

DaddyGeekBoy says: I’m going to take this question to mean ethnicity rather than race. I think Indian women are some of the most beautiful women out there. But they’re right up there with Latin and Scandinavian.

Hubman says: Are you serious, Anonymous? Women of all races are attractive!

Southern Sage says: Hmmmm well that’s surely the first time I have ever seen this question asked anywhere. I would say oriental if forced to choose, though I never culled on account of race.

If you could magically change one part of your body, what would it be and why?

TentCamper says: DEFINITELY NOT MY MANHOOD! (shit that is one power tool that any mechanic would die for). That being said….I’d go with my chest and shoulders. ( I could stand to work out a bit more).

DadsHouse says: Wait a sec - are you trying to sell us some elongating device? Because that is NOT a part of my body I have any intention of changing. I get rave reviews already. (Gotta love a blog that lets you brag about your manhood. I mean, who's gonna check!?)

One part of my body... the big toenail on my right foot. It's funky.

CoachDad says: My abs... Doesn't matter how much I do, I am always five beers short of a six-pack.

DaddyGeekBoy says: I wouldn’t mind toning down the body fuzz a bit.

Hubman says: Goodbye spare tire, hello six-pack!!! Because it's the one part of my body I really don't like. Well, that and my receding and thinning hairline.

Southern Sage says: I would have all the hair removed from everywhere I shave it, face, head, boys.

There is a blog Pimping you should check out HERE, Hotdads being pimped today!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Funny, Sunday Slides, Link

First y'all could go over here and give Sandi a little love.

Love Story

I will seek and find you . ..
I shall take you to bed and
have my way with you

I will make you ache, shake
& sweat until you moan & groan.

I will make you beg for mercy,
beg for me to stop.

I will exhaust you to the point
that you will be relieved when
I'm finished with you.

And, when I am finished, you
will be weak for days.

All my love,

The Flu

Now, get your mind out of
the gutter and go get your
flu shot!

1. Surely someone called HRS!

2. Purple chair! Can you believe it?

Breaking News (AP):

Th is just in!!! Obama wins the Heisman Trophy after watching a college football game!!!


3. I need this one daily!

4. LOL!

Ok y'all don't let TC win every week!

Give the caption your best shot! Y'all have z big weekend! I'm sure I posted HERE too.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

My First Science Exam

My mother was going through some old boxes in the attic and came across this old test of mine. It's a wonder I ever graduated HS, much less college...

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs...

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

Have a good weekend!

Friday, October 16, 2009

Is Sharing Caring?

How much do you want to share of yourself when your kids grow up? A generation ago, this question would have probably been irrelevant. The lines between parents and children were a lot more defined. But in this touchier, feelier age in which we live, parents are friendlier and closer with their offspring. Add to that the transparency of social media and blogging, and it becomes seemingly harder to stay opaque. So when it comes time that your kids are going to start to get into the same kind of trouble that you did, stare down the same demons, what are you going to say?

I’m a long way from this, but I think about it a lot. I’m fairly confident that my parents, especially my dad, had their share of shenanigans growing up. Yet when it came to the inevitable talks about using substances or sex or any of the other things that keep parents of teens up a night, my folks never shared anecdotes. That was probably for the best. When it comes to learning about your parents, there are many things better left unsaid.

As for me, I was not a real troublemaker, but I was no angel either. Let's just put it this way, I'm really glad there was no such thing as Twitter when I was in college. As per usual, my teenage years included lapses in judgment that sometimes resulted in trashcans filled with puke or walks of shame (every once in a while, both).

At the end of the day, I don’t think my kids need to know everything about me. Just like I don’t know everything about my parents. I love my kids, but they are not my friends. Even though I call my son "buddy" all of the time, he is my child. Knowing the trouble I got in to, or narrowly avoided, would probably give him license to do the same things. Right?

What say you? Do you acknowledge your past in the present?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Rooftop Investigation

I don’t know about the rest of you but I live a few blocks from the ocean and have a multitude of seagulls flying overhead at any given time. Additionally, our neighborhood has a crow population that must rival that of China and with fruit trees, we have a gang of mockingbirds and a more than typical population of hummingbirds.

Now…the other day I was up on our roof, doing some man shit, when I noticed that I did not see any bird shit on the roof. A bit surprised, due to the above paragraph, I searched the entire roof. (Yes, I was on the roof scanning for bird scat.) I looked up, and saw a bunch of the pesky fliers that I’ve been talking about…but no poo. Then I took it upon myself to find the best locations on the roof to see the neighboring houses’ roofs. Not having the eyesight that I did in my younger years, I jumped through a window and grabbed my binoculars.

Once back up on the roof, I began scanning the close by rooftops through my binoculars. Still not seeing even one splattering of bird shit…I began letting it really bother me. I stayed up there for what seemed like an eternity, looking from house to house through the binoculars.

Now most of you probably know that when one is looking through binoculars…you only see what you are aiming at…you remove all peripheral vision. Crouched down on the roof, black lenses glued to my face…and all of the sudden I heard, “you up there! What are you doing? Come down here!” Almost falling off the roof and nearly dropping the binoculars, I turned to see that the neighborhood security had seen me and stopped, thinking that I was looking through peoples’ windows.

I climbed down and approached the irritated and confused officer. Before he could say a word, I began explaining what I had been doing. The guy’s facial expression said, “What the fuck ever dude. I know what you were doing.” By the time I finished my story, he just burst out laughing. As both of us were cracking up, he blurted out, “That is the best story that I’ve ever heard on the job…or you need to find yourself a good hobby.”

Realizing that, although he was laughing, he was not sure if he believed me or not, I told him to look for himself…that he had to come up and see first hand. He refused but admitted that by me insisting and the sincerity in voice…that he believed my story. He jumped back into his car, still chuckling as he picked up his radio and drove off.

I have to say that I did not even realize what it must have looked like. Me sitting up on the roof with binoculars…looking at the neighbors’ houses.

I need to stop and think before doing some of the shit that I do!!!

Back to my question...and the reason for this post.

Why do you rarely find bird poo on roofs? Do they hold it while flying over neighborhoods? Save it for people at the beach or on picnics? I don't get it.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Pump It Up - Mudhoney

This is a reprint from my main blog, Dads Who Mock the World, it tickled me. So I'm sharing it with you all too!

I was going to bitch about my Out-Laws visiting this weekend (Georgia has an away game, so they can travel here. Great.). I was also going to celebrate the Wife coming back home from a week away, but I think I have sung those songs enough that you know most of the words. And yes, they will be arriving within a couple of hours of each other. Joy.

Instead, I'll regale you with squirrel tales! (aka, Tales from Russ the Squirrel Hunter! hat tip to Scifi Dad)

As I've mentioned before, I have squirrels in the attic, no that's not a metaphor I really have two tree rats living in my attic. Should you need a refresher, mash here. (In the south, mashing ain't just for potatoes!)

As you may recall, I set mouse traps in the attic to try and catch whatever was up there. All I managed to do was give some squirrels a fright. Then I upped the ante to rat traps. They must have learned their lesson from the mouse traps. I caught nothing.

What was the next step, you ask? Go full Elmer Fudd. Okay, not the FULL Elmer Fudd, but introduce projectiles into the mix. (Hey, what could go wrong?)

First some back-story. My entire experience with projectiles (in order of lethality): Throwing rocks/stones/balls (all my life, and I still suck at it), slingshot with steel balls (I could it a ground hog at 20 yards, sometimes. I haven't used one since high school), .22 rifle (one time at Boys State in NJ, I did well to hit the paper target. Period. Forget about the bulls-eye.) Yet, introducing projectiles still seemed like a good idea.

So I did my research, which included what is and isn't legal in NC, what kind of permits are required, etc. Thankfully, NC is pretty easy going about pellet guns. (Actual firearms are different.) So that is the direction I went.

The next question was, rifle or pistol. The more I thought about it, a rifle just seemed like overkill (then again, if it is worth doing, it's worth over doing!), but I decided to get a pistol anyway. Next question was, which one.

The vast majority of the pistols were designated for "plinking" i.e. target practice. The ones that were for pest removal cost as much as some of the rifles. If that was the case, then I would just get a rifle. OVERKILL!!!

Then I found a reasonably priced pistol that had the power needed for pest removal. After discussing the idea with the Wife (who agreed to idea, but wasn't thrilled about it), I got it. It arrived yesterday.

After getting the kids into bed for their very short naps, I took the gun out behind my house (have a good hill as a backstop) for some target practice. Needless to say, my accuracy was less than stellar.

So I resign myself to resetting the traps in the attic. Hey, I might get lucky!

Or not. As I was going back to the attic stairs, my foot slipped off of the 2x6 that I was walking on. Thankfully I caught myself before I fell too far. The definition of "Too Far" in this case would be, No longer in the attic, but now laying on the floor of the second story while writhing in pain.

No, instead I now have a size 13 hole in the ceiling of my hallway. If that weren't bad enough, I noticed as I was clearing out the shredded insulation (which has the same resistance as newly fallen snow), if I had just slipped six inches back, I would have hit the door frame and minimal damage would have occurred. So much for luck.

In all of my commotion, I managed to give one of the tree rats a start. So fully ticked off, I rush off to get my new pistol. (This is the best time to handle a gun, even a pellet gun, right? While you are irritated?) So I pump up the gun, take aim, and fire!

Well smack my ass and call my Sally! I hit the rat bastard!

Unfortunately, it wasn't an instant kill, but later in the evening there it was, dead in my side yard.

Side note, SciFi, the Wife was not terribly amused by this (needless to say, squirrel will not be on the menu):

Monday, October 12, 2009

Ask Hot Dads - The saga continues...

TentCamper I Pee in the Wind

Happy Monday everyone!!!!! I hope that the weekend treated you well.

Please sit down and prepare yourself for this, the next exciting edition of Ask Hot Dads. Our wisdom is MIND-BLOWING!!!!

Barefoot Dreamer asked: I leave for Vegas in three weeks. I will be gone for five nights. I want to leave my house and my husband in a good place. Any advice from the guys as to how a wife can leave on an extended trip and leave their guys mind, house, kids in a good place before they go? (side note: my hubby is fully capable of tending to the children when I am away. things like cooking etc are not an issue)

TentCamper says: I am getting that you know your man can hold down the fort…and what you are getting at is how can you make him feel comfortable with you in Vegas for a week without him or the kids. Dunno. I guess I would say that leading up to your sendoff date…make him really happy and reinforce that you love him and how glad you are that you have him. He’d love hearing that. In addition, I would say that checking in with him a time or two each day would be good…spose it would depend on how jealous a guy he is.

Daddy Geek Boy says: Even though your guy can cook, stashing a lasagna in the fridge or freezer is a good idea. Let's him and the kids know you're thinking about them. Clean up your stuff around the house. And most importantly, make sure you rock his world the night before you leave. All that follows will be okay.

Southern Sage says: I got nuttin except you could make meals like lasagna or spaghetti, chili stuff they could eat more'n once, also you could set up the clothes for the kids, like hng em in order or something.

DadsHouse says: As a single dad, I'm not sure what you're asking. I run my household just fine by myself. Sounds like your hubby can cook. What's the issue?

As for leaving your hubby in a good place - have tons of raucous sex with him before you go.

DadsWhoMockTheWorld says: Vegas makes it tough, but so long as your relationship is solid there is nothing to worry about. He'll just be ticked that you are having fun without him.

Hubman says: Let’s see, peace of mind if Veronica was going to Vegas without me(Keep in mind that I’m drafting this while she and I are flying to Vegas!)…

It’s not often that she travels without me, but when she does, all I ask is that she calls me when she reaches her destination and calls once a day to say hi to the kids and let me know she’s doing well. Knowing my wife and suspecting what might happen if she were to go to Vegas without me, I want pictures ;-)

As far as the house and kids go, I’d be fine. In fact, I get mildly irritated when she takes extra steps to make things “easier” for me. 2 or 3 times a month, Veronica has an evening committee meeting at work, so she doesn’t come home for dinner on those nights and I’m “Mr. Mom”. A quick and easy dinner I’ll make for me and the kids is hot dogs with macaroni and cheese.

Veronica, my love, it’s really not necessary to take the pots out of the cabinet, leave the rolls on the counter to defrost and leave the box of mac and cheese on the counter. I realize that you have a propensity to not put stuff back in the same place each time you use it, but I’m pretty sure I can find my way around the kitchen. Okay? Thanks.

Trooper Thorn says: Do not expect your husband to do things the way you want them just "he should know". It is best to be specific to not be disappointed. Leave a list of things you want clean (or at least tidied) before you return and possibly a grocery list of stuff to restock. Most importantly: Don't come home early without a decent heads up. Most husbands will leave all the cleaning until the last moment (and I mean the moment you pull into the driveway) so they don't have to do it twice.

Veronica asks: What is the one piece of advice you would give your son about women or your daughter about men?

TentCamper says: to son – be honest, don’t commit until you’ve experienced everything that you think you can. Women/girls play games and change their minds …A LOT! To daughter – don’t trust boys….ever! They might act nice, but they all want one thing. Treat them right and be honest…no stringing folks along.

Daddy Geek Boy says: Never trust a teenage man. Everything he says, no matter how innocuous it seems, is designed to get into your pants. They can't help it. Hormones are a powerful thing.

Southern Sage says: Men suck, never depend on them for anything. be able to support yourself, but if you decide to be a bride then be able and wiling to tend your husband and family, have the abilities that raise your stock as woman.

Son, you suck, choose bride that understands your needs as a man and choose wisely, your kids will be 1/2 her, and she will look like her mom in a few years. Get one to good to cheat on.

DadsHouse says: To my son: treat women with respect and tenderness. To my daughter: men have fragile egos.

DadsWhoMockTheWorld says: Son about women: Treat them as equals. Daughter about men: Trust your gut. If he seems shifty, he probably is.

Hubman says: One piece of advice about the opposite sex? Oh good lord, I have no idea. How about "You'll never really understand the opposite sex, so don't try too hard, because it's an exercise in futility."

Trooper Thorn says: "Son, all women are crazy; just make she she's not dangerous." "Daughter, men are pigs. That is all."

2. For once and for all, Ginger or Maryanne?

TentCamper says: Maryanne all the way. Ginger is a needy bitch who ‘thinks’ she is ‘all that!’

Daddy Geek Boy says: Living in LA, I've had some run ins with movie stars. So without question, Maryanne.

Southern Sage says: Maryanne

DadsHouse says: A threesome with both.

DadsWhoMockTheWorld says: Maryanne

Hubman says: Ginger, ‘cause I’ve never been with a redhead.

Trooper Thorn says: Mrs. Howell

3. What infomercial product have you been tempted to buy?

TentCamper says: the Hoverround. I called one night (after a few beers) and now they keep sending me shit. How nice would it be to cruise amusement parks and soccer games in one of those bad boys?

Daddy Geek Boy says: Believe it or not, I kind of want a snuggie. Though I haven't figured out if it's to be ironic or not.

Southern Sage says: none I m aware of, I don't make decisions on impulse.

DadsHouse says: That one about making me a millionaire while I sit on my ass at home!

DadsWhoMockTheWorld says: The brownie pan

Hubman says: Who is that annoying fucktard who pimps that magic towel, the Sham-wow? The first time I stumbled across that, I almost ordered one. But then one of few functioning brain cells I have came to life and I moved on…

Trooper Thorn says: The SlapChop, but only the receive The Gratee. If I had a Gratee, I'd have cheese on everything.

4. Please explain the appeal of either "Ice Road Truckers" or "Deadliest Catch"

TentCamper says: Never seen Ice Road Truckers…but Deadliest Catch is a ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ show. I don’t know how to explain it …but I guarantee that if you sit down and (really) watch 1 full episode…you’ll be hooked. Mariah watches with me all the time!

Daddy Geek Boy says: Easy. Men. Machines. Fish.

Southern Sage says: I haven't clue what these are.

DadsHouse says: Yes, please do. Neither sound appealing to me.

DadsWhoMockTheWorld says: Being stuck inside with florescent light makes us long for out door jobs.

Hubman says: I’ve only watched an episode or two of “Ice Road Truckers” and have trouble watching it. Not because it’s not compelling TV or anything like that, but because one of the ways I’m truly afraid of dying is by drowning AND I’m a pussy about being cold. So combine guys driving heavy, really heavy trucks over frozen lakes above the Arctic Circle and the heebie-jeebie factor is too great for me.

But oddly enough, even though it also involves cold and water, I really like “Deadliest Catch”. I’ve been watching it since season 2 and have grown attached to the characters and their struggles to earn a living in brutal conditions.

Trooper Thorn says: I haven't seen either. I'm holding out for "Deadliest Truckers".

5. What is the best part of a lap dance?

TentCamper says: I never really could figure out what the attraction is. I know that between the mindset of the strippers (take your money) and the rules of the clubs (no touching) then what’s the freaking point. On the other hand…a lap dance in the bedroom with my woman …I GET that!!!!

Daddy Geek Boy says: Every part right up until the moment when you have to hand over the $20.

Southern Sage says: Never did much for me, nor do titty bars or strippers in general. If it turns her on to do then I'm in, whtever turns her on, short sct & blood letting, I'm for it.

DadsHouse says: The look in her eye, or the view of her rear. I can't pick just one. (I don't go to strip clubs, so I only get lap dances from girlfriends, and it tends to only happen in an older men younger women relationship. Go figure.)

DadsWhoMockTheWorld says: The very beginning.

Hubman says: Oh Veronica, the best part of a lap dance is watching YOU get one, especially from a girl who isn’t shy about a little extra contact. Remember Hunter? Or Samantha? What can I say, I’d rather watch you get a dance than get one myself. Well, unless Dakota is involved, but that’s another story ;-)

Trooper Thorn says: When I can get up off the guy and go home.

6. What was your favorite book as a kid?

TentCamper says: Where the Wild Things

Daddy Geek Boy says: Superfudge

Southern Sage says: Where the red fern grows.

DadsHouse says: Bambi. I'm not kidding. It's the first book I stayed up all night reading. Really good stuff. Bambi was a guy, btw. He gets some big cajones sized antlers when he's all grown up

DadsWhoMockTheWorld says: Was and still is Watership Down.

Hubman says: In junior high school I discovered Stephen King and over the next several years read everything he wrote. I couldn’t tell you which of his books was my favorite, maybe The Stand? As a younger child, I have no idea...

Trooper Thorn says: "Charlottes Web" but only the parts with Lurvey in it.

7. Who was your childhood hero? What do you think of that person as an adult?

TentCamper says: Shit! Ok…my childhood hero was OJ Simpson. I had his jersey and was all about OJ. What I think of that murdering, fucked up liar now? …I think I shouldn’t say.

Daddy Geek Boy says: I was way into Billy Joel, but I don't think I would consider him my "hero." Kind of sad how he's become one of those aging guys who isn't doing it that gracefully.

Southern Sage says: My dad, he got better the older I got.

DadsHouse says: Superman. He still rocks.

DadsWhoMockTheWorld says: Bill Bradly. I don't care for his political slant, but he went to Princeton, played in the NBA (quite well), then became a politician. That is a full life.

Hubman says: I’ve never been one for heroes. I looked up to athletes a lot, and still admire their dedication, training, and physical prowess, but heroes? That is a term that is really overused in our society. Pat Tillmen was a hero not because of his abilities on the football field, but because he walked away from a multi-million dollar NFL contract to serve his country as an Army Ranger, eventually losing his life in Afghanistan.

Trooper Thorn says: Batman. He still rules.

8. Describe the perfect man cave?

TentCamper says: It would definitely include; Sam Adams on tap, plasma TVs, high tech computers, NFL ticker with highlights from all of the games, whole house (and neighborhood) surveillance systems, hula girls as servants and state of the art soundproofing. …but I really haven’t given it much thought, so…I don’t know.

Daddy Geek Boy says: Gotta be classy. Gotta be high tech. 52" (or bigger) HD flatscreen. Blu Ray. Theater seats. Small bar (kegerator). Video game systems. Awsome sound system. And a disco ball....just cause.

Southern Sage says: Beer, poker, political discussions, or 12 chicks, 2 gallons of 40 weight, #3 wash tub full of lime jello, & 6 pounds of cool whoop.

DadsHouse says: It has a woman in it. (I know, that doesn't fit the definition of man cave. But as a single dad, a woman is the one thing my man cave lacks!)< DadsWhoMockTheWorld says: Wall for projecting game/movie/video game/etc two rows of stadium seating. Pool table/game room with wet bar and full kitchen. Full bath off to the side. This opens on to a porch with hot tub and outdoor kitchen and fireplace. (After all that, all I'm missing is the bedroom...)

Hubman says: A true man-cave is away from the hustle and bustle of the house, where I’m not easily distracted by Veronica or the kids. So I imagine a man-loft instead, my own little kingdom above the detached 2-car garage I dream of (damn New England winters…). A couple of comfy chairs and a couch, big flat screen TV, internet access, a fridge stocked with beer and in the fall, NFL Sunday Ticket.

And I’d grant Veronica (or select friends) access for the purpose of sexual favors. At half-time, of course.

Trooper Thorn says: Unfrozen Cave Lawyer (
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